Me: Do you love me?
Son: I love you 100,000
Me: That's pretty big. How about daddy?
Son: I love daddy 100,063 (giggle)
Me: You have to love me more. I made you.
Son: No you didn't... God made me!
Doh... trumped by a 4 yr old.
God made us. My husband and I giggled at how my son won the argument with that simple truth. I was in awe of how convicted my son was with the statement. "God made me!" He knew it as the truth and somehow my husband and I skimmed passed it. I was humbled by that reminder.
"I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well." -Psalm 139:14
Lord, I am so thankful that you've made me and loved me as I am. Thank you for these little unexpected reminders... how sometimes it takes childlike faith to see You and your kingdom more clearly.
Tuesday, April 10, 2012
Thursday, February 23, 2012
Being filled with thanksgiving
This year I wanted to observe Lent in two ways. One is to fast from something I don't need in my life, to practice some discipline, and to be reminded how Jesus has resisted sin and temptations to be the blameless sacrifice for us. Second, I wanted to be mindful of the blessings God has placed in my life. I want to acknowledge those blessings, those joys that I experience so that I can give my appreciation back to God. There are enough stresses to rob us of our joy. I choose to dwell in the joy.
Family - I am so thankful for my family. Specifically, I am thankful for my father who has been a blessing to us. We were uncertain how the living arrangement would be like. Thankfully it has gone smoothly. He has driven my son around for pre-school, dressed/fed him, and entertained an active little boy for over a year. He is not intrusive in our household. He respects our privacy and does not ask for much even though we've been through 6 months of various renovations at the house. But what fills me with joy is the love he has for my son. After a long holiday weekend, I expected my dad would relax and settled in his apartment. But after seeing my son on the couch watching a video, my father came out just to sit with my boy. No playing or talking, just being together. And the sight of it just warmed my heart. So thank you God, for my father. Not just for the help he has provided but for the genuine love relationship between grandson and grandfather.
Family - I am so thankful for my family. Specifically, I am thankful for my father who has been a blessing to us. We were uncertain how the living arrangement would be like. Thankfully it has gone smoothly. He has driven my son around for pre-school, dressed/fed him, and entertained an active little boy for over a year. He is not intrusive in our household. He respects our privacy and does not ask for much even though we've been through 6 months of various renovations at the house. But what fills me with joy is the love he has for my son. After a long holiday weekend, I expected my dad would relax and settled in his apartment. But after seeing my son on the couch watching a video, my father came out just to sit with my boy. No playing or talking, just being together. And the sight of it just warmed my heart. So thank you God, for my father. Not just for the help he has provided but for the genuine love relationship between grandson and grandfather.
Saturday, February 18, 2012
Trying to Save Yourself
I know it's only February but we've already started thinking about swimming this summer. Why wait until summer to learn when you can start now. Luckily my local school has a public pool. What a great idea. I'll get home after a long day of work, after my hour long commute, shove all my swim gear in a bag, grab a quick snack, and drag my 4yr old to the pool for a quick "lesson". I brought a kick board and arm floaties. My son will be kicking around independently in no time. Perhaps my expectations were a little too high. So let me tell you what actually happened.
I'm go into the warm pool. "Ok honey. Come to mommy."
"Umm... I don't want to. I want to go home." I just spent all this effort to get here, I'm so not going home.
"This is going to be fun. Just come for a little bit." He reluctantly gets into the pool.
"I want to go home."
"In a little bit, mommy's going to walk us around in the pool."
I imagined this would be fun and relaxing except my son has a choke hold on my neck and vice grip legs around my mid-section. Well we're not going to get any swimming done in this state. Luckily, some other kids are now entering the pool, emitting an aura of confidence as they wade, swim, and leap into the pool. Too bad that choke hold hasn't loosen up yet. Maybe I should switch tactics.
I walk us over to the shallow 3 ft end. I try to peel my boy an inch from my body when he starts to frantically kick and doggy paddle. I tell myself this is okay. It's a natural reflex to try to save yourself. But panic is not helping our "lesson". Maybe if I help him feel safe. Maybe if he realizes he's not going to sink with me holding him, he'll relax... a bit.
"Sweetie... stop moving for a second. Mommy has you and you're safe."
"Good job. See... I'm holding you and you're safe. Can you try to touch the floor with your toes?"
It's 3 ft at the shallow end and I have a very tall 4 year old. This should give him some confidence. Except... he panics and starts to put the choke hold on me again. There he goes trying to save himself again. I know he can touch the bottom with no problem. If only he would trust me enough to try it. I know he'll feel more confident and relaxed if he knew he could stand up in the pool. Past experience has shown me that once he has that confidence he'll be asking me to let go of him. Then I'm the one with panic in her eyes making sure he's well supervised and safe.
This is no lesson on how to teach your child how to swim. I'm obviously not a swim instructor. But as expected, once my son gained some confidence I was able to lead him around the pool without any problems. I didn't think much about the whole swimming session until our Wednesday night bible study. We were talking about trusting and obeying God. Our first instinct is probably to ask "Why? Why do you want me to do this God?" It's pretty hard to just trust and obey. Then J mentioned how nice it would be if her kids would obey her first, ask questions later. She would give them the explanation but it would be nice to have them obey first. I immediately thought of the swim session. I wanted so much for my son to trust me about being able to touch the ground. I knew his limits and I had him safe in my arms the entire time. I was trying to teach him a new skill. I was trying to build his confidence. I wanted him to have fun. But it couldn't happen without his trust first.
Then it hits me. Oh, how often have I been this way with God. How often has He asked me to try something, to step out of my comfort zone? "Should I talk to that stranger who seemed to be having a bad day? Should I ask them to church?" How often has He asked me to trust and obey so that he could build me up only to hear me say no. "I don't know if I have time time to help that person this weekend. I would help with that ministry but I just don't have the time for it." How often have I panicked and tried to save myself not realizing God has me in His grip all along. "Everything will be fine if I can just fix this." All I had to do was be still and feel His presence around me. "Thank you, Almighty God, for being in control. Thank you for carrying me through these trials." It may be scary to step out in faith, but I pray we'll grow to trust and obey God more. For His kingdom, it will always be worth it.
I'm go into the warm pool. "Ok honey. Come to mommy."
"Umm... I don't want to. I want to go home." I just spent all this effort to get here, I'm so not going home.
"This is going to be fun. Just come for a little bit." He reluctantly gets into the pool.
"I want to go home."
"In a little bit, mommy's going to walk us around in the pool."
I imagined this would be fun and relaxing except my son has a choke hold on my neck and vice grip legs around my mid-section. Well we're not going to get any swimming done in this state. Luckily, some other kids are now entering the pool, emitting an aura of confidence as they wade, swim, and leap into the pool. Too bad that choke hold hasn't loosen up yet. Maybe I should switch tactics.
I walk us over to the shallow 3 ft end. I try to peel my boy an inch from my body when he starts to frantically kick and doggy paddle. I tell myself this is okay. It's a natural reflex to try to save yourself. But panic is not helping our "lesson". Maybe if I help him feel safe. Maybe if he realizes he's not going to sink with me holding him, he'll relax... a bit.
"Sweetie... stop moving for a second. Mommy has you and you're safe."
"Good job. See... I'm holding you and you're safe. Can you try to touch the floor with your toes?"
It's 3 ft at the shallow end and I have a very tall 4 year old. This should give him some confidence. Except... he panics and starts to put the choke hold on me again. There he goes trying to save himself again. I know he can touch the bottom with no problem. If only he would trust me enough to try it. I know he'll feel more confident and relaxed if he knew he could stand up in the pool. Past experience has shown me that once he has that confidence he'll be asking me to let go of him. Then I'm the one with panic in her eyes making sure he's well supervised and safe.
This is no lesson on how to teach your child how to swim. I'm obviously not a swim instructor. But as expected, once my son gained some confidence I was able to lead him around the pool without any problems. I didn't think much about the whole swimming session until our Wednesday night bible study. We were talking about trusting and obeying God. Our first instinct is probably to ask "Why? Why do you want me to do this God?" It's pretty hard to just trust and obey. Then J mentioned how nice it would be if her kids would obey her first, ask questions later. She would give them the explanation but it would be nice to have them obey first. I immediately thought of the swim session. I wanted so much for my son to trust me about being able to touch the ground. I knew his limits and I had him safe in my arms the entire time. I was trying to teach him a new skill. I was trying to build his confidence. I wanted him to have fun. But it couldn't happen without his trust first.
Then it hits me. Oh, how often have I been this way with God. How often has He asked me to try something, to step out of my comfort zone? "Should I talk to that stranger who seemed to be having a bad day? Should I ask them to church?" How often has He asked me to trust and obey so that he could build me up only to hear me say no. "I don't know if I have time time to help that person this weekend. I would help with that ministry but I just don't have the time for it." How often have I panicked and tried to save myself not realizing God has me in His grip all along. "Everything will be fine if I can just fix this." All I had to do was be still and feel His presence around me. "Thank you, Almighty God, for being in control. Thank you for carrying me through these trials." It may be scary to step out in faith, but I pray we'll grow to trust and obey God more. For His kingdom, it will always be worth it.
Thursday, March 24, 2011
Snow in Springtime
I know most people were groaning this morning as we began our commutes. "More snow," I asked myself, "isn't it Spring now?" But as I began my drive down the road early in the morning, I could only look in awe of the beauty of it all. It was just a dusting of snow that clung to the trees to create a winter wonderland. It's all gone now, but I am in awe of God's creation. And it reminds me of the Spring that is to come. Things will grow and things will change. But I believe God has his hand in it all whether it is in the seasons of nature or the seasons of my life.
Saturday, March 12, 2011
One Thousand Gifts
I know there are thousands of gifts that God has blessed me with. Unfortunately, I've probably been too busy to notice them. So as part of my Lent fast (from online games) I want open my eyes and see how much God is working in my life. I'll begin by listing things I appreciate in my life, gifts that I know come from God. (inspired by http://www.aholyexperience.com/one-thousand-gifts-book)
1. My son woke up at 3:30am the other day coughing non-stop. He was probably having another allergy attack. I could tell he needed to calm down and needed some love, but I was also so tired. So I gave in and did something I almost never do. I invited my son to sleep in my bed. He plopped his head on my pillow. I rubbed his back hoping to soothe him into a regular breathing pattern. It worked! He fell asleep with me rubbing his back. I fell asleep with my arms around my son.
I was thankful that my son's allergies was under control. I'd rather sleep than have to pull out the nebulizer. (The meds would of made my son hyper too.) But I was left in awe of the closeness that my son and I had as we fell asleep together. I am so thankful the the family that God has created. I am thankful for the love that we share. My 3:30am wake up call turned into a sweet memory that I will treasure.
1. My son woke up at 3:30am the other day coughing non-stop. He was probably having another allergy attack. I could tell he needed to calm down and needed some love, but I was also so tired. So I gave in and did something I almost never do. I invited my son to sleep in my bed. He plopped his head on my pillow. I rubbed his back hoping to soothe him into a regular breathing pattern. It worked! He fell asleep with me rubbing his back. I fell asleep with my arms around my son.
I was thankful that my son's allergies was under control. I'd rather sleep than have to pull out the nebulizer. (The meds would of made my son hyper too.) But I was left in awe of the closeness that my son and I had as we fell asleep together. I am so thankful the the family that God has created. I am thankful for the love that we share. My 3:30am wake up call turned into a sweet memory that I will treasure.
Sunday, August 1, 2010
The Toddler Laws of Property
The Toddler Laws of Property
1. If I like it, it's mine
2. If it's in my hand, it's mine
3. If I had it a little while ago, it's mine
4. If it looks just like mine, it's mine
5. If I think it's mine, it's mine!
1. If I like it, it's mine
2. If it's in my hand, it's mine
3. If I had it a little while ago, it's mine
4. If it looks just like mine, it's mine
5. If I think it's mine, it's mine!
So my beloved toddler has entered a phase (or perhaps permanently) where everything belongs to him. The juice I was drinking "Is mine!" The couch I was sitting on "Is Mine!" The car I'm driving "Is Mine!" The glasses, which would blind any other human being, "Is Mine!" And as a parent I teach him to share ... and gently remind him "Everything is provided by me and your very existence depends on me. I brought you into this world... yada yada yada."
Now this has been going on for weeks but it hit a spark today. Don't I live my life with this "Everything is Mine" mentality? My money is mine, my time is mine, my house, car, boat (I wish) is mine. But no... everything I have has been provided by my heavenly Father. How would my life be different if I lived acknowledging that? Would I share more abundantly? Will I be more grateful for the things I have? Will I praise him for the blessings that overflow and in times of drought? "You give and take away, you give and take away, but my heart will choose to say, blessed be your name."
Lord, help me to grow out of my infantile view of possessions. Let me live with love and joy under my Father's care.
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